I really like the idea of "a loyal traitor". Or rather, I identify with "a loyal traitor." To be honest, I'm not crazy about the idea. I wish i wasn't one. But I am. So in some sense I like the idea because it gives me insight and knowledge of myself. I like it and hate it because it takes me deeper into the cavernous depths that are inside and makes me face the demon-me that lives down there, but it also reminds me that the demon-me isn't the only me.
I first discovered the phrase in the summer of 2004 in Philip Yancey's book, Reaching for the Invisible God. Truth be told, though, I was intimately familiar with the concept long before I read it in Yancey's book. I had embodied the concept for nearly twenty-one years after all. Beginning with my parents and family as a child and on to friends and Jesus and all of creation. One moment I am loyal and willing to follow to the death. The next I shrink in fear and trade the best I have for a bag of cash that won't even cover dinner. I have yet to find another term that more closely expresses the condition of my spirituality and humanity. Anytime I start looking for ideas to capture myself in a quick phrase, I always fall back to this one as I have done here.
Recent Comments